It appears that Hollywood stars are exempt from the conventions of average people in the sense that they tend to marry in haste and separate in haste, all while declaring their undying love between falling in and out of love.
Well, of course, we have to cut them some slack because we lesser beings don’t have paparazzi tallying our unions and dissolutions every step of the way. Still, we cannot help but feel that they could have tried harder. Just saying, you know.
Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman
In what must have been the inspiration for the Cameron Diaz-Ashton Kutcher movie “What Happens in Vegas”, Playboy model Carmen Electra and Bad Boy Dennis Rodman married in Las Vegas in circumstances that were less than sober and somber.
Yes, it is said that the two were flat-out drunk when they said their vows! I wonder what the minister thought of that but then again, Las Vegas ministers must be used to such shenanigans. Not surprisingly, they separated 10 days after. Yes, some couples take that long to finally decide what constitutes cool groomsmen gifts. (Please, not everybody likes Batman cufflinks. Don’t you have something with Spider-Man on it?) Well, that’s Hollywood and Las Vegas for you!
Dennis Hopper and Michelle Phillips
I wonder what it is about the name Dennis being a menace to marriage. Here is another Dennis who loves to get married in a haste and divorce even hastier! This time, it’s Dennis Hopper of Blue Velvet fame, who was married to Michelle Phillips for just 8 days. But with 10 marriages between this couple, no surprise there!
When you come to think of it, 8 days is just about enough time for a cigar flask to lose its newness. By then, it would have acquired the smell of your favoritecigar and liquor instead of the scent of aluminum.
Britney Spears and Jason Alexander
This was not even a marriage! Oh, okay, it was a marriage but only because a annulment was necessary to dissolve what Britney Spears considered a huge error. Jason Alexander was her childhood sweetheart whom she married in a, you guessed it, Las Vegas chapel in, you guessed it again, less than dreamy circumstances.
Aside from her genital-flashing and Federline-smooching days, this takes the jackpot for being her most peculiar behavior yet – 55 hours of marriage, most of it probably spent in planning the divorce. I wonder what she will do to her circus life next. Perhaps admit that not everyone wants to seek Amy?
Methinks Hollywood is not the ideal place to say your vows of forever more what with these short-lived marriages. Well, unless it’s a romantic comedy movie, of course, then that’s a different story.